⛧ x ☤ x ☨ CHURCH OF DONKOLOGY 3: Quest for the Sword of A Thousand Donks ☨ x ☤ x ⛧
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Wise and noble Donkologists, I hope this message finds you unharmed. The church is in a time of dire peril, and only YOU can save us from the forces of darkness set in motion by those meddling with ancient powers beyond their control.
A great and terrible evil creature has been released into the world! The church elders are forced to put aside their theological debates and join forces in order to find the Sword of a Thousand Donks and once again restore balance to the universe.
We have pondered many scriptures and tomes to prepare a ritual that will summon and then seal this evil presence, but without your help we cannot return this foul demon to whence it came!
Brave Donkologists, I implore you to join us at the holiest of grounds that is Beaverworks in Leeds, Saturday 18th October. Without your help, the church elders will surely perish. May the spirit of the Donk guide you on this perilous pilgrimage. Praise Donk to you all!
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⛧ x ☨ x ☨ APOSTLES ☨ x ☨ x ⛧
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☤ HANG THE DJs ☤
To execute such a complex ritual we have enlisted the help of one of the finest preaching power couples in the world! They have given numerous powerful party-starting sermons at the likes of Boomtown, Download and Bangface festival, and with their incredible power the church is surely in safe hands.
☨ SPONGEBOB SQUAREWAVE ☨
As things are sure to get extreme, we have decided to draft in the head of Off Me Nut records, who luckily for us is an expert of high octane Donkological warfare! Expect one of the most euphoric sermons that can be comprehended by the mortal mind.
☤ EUGENE McCAULEY ☤
The church’s influence is starting to grow throughout the world! Our summoning powers have gained enough range to welcome our first international apostle! De Donk Maestro himself! The elders are ecstatic to hear of his teachings from this distant and ancient land.
☨ DJ CAN'T SAY NO ☨
Already ordained as the Archbishop of Brighton for her noble contributions to Donkology, may we welcome the people’s princess of hard dance! Her sermons have been heard at some of the biggest festivals around the country, and the church elders are humbled that she may grace us with her presence.
☤ ALTERUM ☤
How could we face such a great and evil demon without the comforting presence of our Mum? The mum of Donk is one of Hell’s finest generals, and their unique style of Donkology can only further our chances of victory.
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⛧ x ☨ x ☨ PRIESTS ☨ x ☨ x ⛧
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☤ TOXTETH COWBOY ☤
Yeeee-Haaaaaw the cowboy finally moseys into Church to bless us with an off the spur Donk rodeo. Cowboy hats not included.
☨ INDECLINE ☨
The driving force behind Salt & Pepper Soundsystem, this harder styles power duo will be bringing the sound of the underground hardcore scene in to the church's sanctified halls.
☤ WITCH TITZ ☤
The church has enlisted the aid of two local witches to help in this dire time. Their mix of spells and potions will provide just the boost we need versus this evil creature!
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⛧ x ☨ x ☨ ELDERS ☨ x ☨ x ⛧
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☤ ORGALORG THE TEKNO LORD ☤
☨ NICE 'N' SPICY ☨
☤ DR BUMBERCREASE ☤
☨ DONKGORGON ☨
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⛧ DONK ⛧ HARD DANCE ⛧ MAKINA ⛧ HARDCORE ⛧ TEKNO ⛧ & MORE ⛧
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☨ x ☨ POWERED BY SALT & PEPPER SOUND SYSTEM ☨ x ☨
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Ω EARLY BIRD £10 Ω
☨ 1ST RELEASE £12 ☨
☨ FINAL RELEASE £15 ☨
Ω MORE ON THE DOOR Ω
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Donkologists may be hell bent on the domination of the universe but we accept all genders, sexualities, creeds and species throughout the known universe. This is a safe space and no discrimination of any kind will be tolerated and you may be excommunicated from any further donkregations.
Also check out other Festivals in Leeds, Parties in Leeds, Entertainment events in Leeds.
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