AUDITIONS | JUN 22 & 23, 2025 | 7pm
BULLSHOT CRUMMOND
By RON HOUSE, DIZ WHITE, ALAN SHEARMAN,
JOHN NEVILLE-ANDREWS, AND DEREK CUNNINGHAM
Directed by JEFFERY BATTERSBY
SEPTEMBER 2025
Fri & Sat 8pm | Sept 5, 6, 12, 13, 19, 20
Sun Matinee 2pm | Sept 14
Sat Matinee 2pm | Sept 20
Before James Bond, before Austin Powers, before Clouseau, there was Captain Hugh “Bullshot” Crummond. An irreverent spoof of cliché detective B-movies, this hilarious comedy ambitiously stages wild thrills and spills traditionally reserved for the screen: plane crashes, car chases, icy mountain cliff hangers, sword fights, and even a naval sea battle.
Bullshot Crummond is presented by arrangement with Concord Theatricals, on behalf of Samuel French, Inc. concordtheatricals.com
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Audition Information:
3 men, 2 women
Hugh "Bullshot" Crummond:
He is the archetypal British officer who fought in the trenches of France, laughs at danger and doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. He thinks of himself as a dashing young daredevil. I n reality he has a deluded idea of his own capabilities. He is totally confident in anything he attempts but his shortcomings are quite obvious to the audience. An example of this is his saber duel with Von Brunno where he is hopelessly out classed but fails to realize it. Today Crummond would•be termed a male chauvinist. The actor should be shorter than the rest of the cast including the women. Age around 30. Strong upper class English accent. Hair slicked back with high center-part.
Miss Rosemary Fenton:
She is an English rose of the most overdone genteel upbringing one can imagine. She has a very loud irritating laugh which Crummond finds charming. She is the type of woman who will agree with anything a man says as she believes men to be superior to women. However, at points of danger she comes through to show her true red blooded spirit. There is an underlying sexual attraction between her and Crummond which neither of them quite understand. She is blonde and aged 25-30. Upper class English accent.
Otto Von Brunno (the same actor also plays Salvatore Scalicio):
Von Brunno is a classic "B" movie teutonic villain sporting an oversized eyeglass and a shaved head. He speaks with a stock Hollywood style German accent pronouncing "s" as "z." He should be extremely stiff in movement coupled with an evil laugh and wicked smile. He should be about six feet age 30-40.
Also Plays…
Salvatore Scalicio:
He is a stock type character who should closely resemble the acting style of the people we see on the TV series "The Untouchables." His purpose in the script is to give the actor a chance to do a quick change routine.
Tanya Von Brunno:
She is Otto's mistress. Their only basis for a relationship is that they both worship evil. She and Otto have continual fights because of his blunderings. She also has an irrepressible desire for Crummond and in the script annoys Otto by alluding to it. She has an evil laugh and takes pleasure in cruelty.
Algy Longwort:
Would be termed in England "an upper class twit.” He has a very broad upper class accent and much of his manner is school boyish. His manner is rather affected. His favorite pastime would be sitting by the fire sipping pink gin. He delights in Crummond's every adventure.
Professor Rupert Fenton:
A "B" movie type scientist who is terribly involved in his work. He has the highest moral standards and will not tell the Von Brunnos his secrets.
A Waiter at the Carlton:
The waiter has a condescending attitude toward all customers who come to the Carlton. The Carlton is the best restaurant in London serving only the best people. He feels Crummond is a bit strange and not the type of customer that the Carlton caters to.
A Country Policeman:
A very straight part. The lines should be delivered with good sense.
Inspector Scabbard Of Scotland Yard/Wolfgang Schmidt:
The one armed inspector is the stock type policeman who is not very bright and is continually frustrated by the interference of Hugh Crummond. His voice is coarse but authentic. He is really Wolfgang Schmidt in disguise. Wolfgang speaks with a heavy German accent, no trace of which exists when portraying Scabbard. He adopts military rigidity in the presence of Otto and is very obedient. He changes character from Scabbard to Wolfgang instantly.
Marovitch:
He is the most overdone of the characters the actor plays. He has a hunchback, a patch on his eye, a large scar and walks with a limp.
The parts of Algy Longwort, Professor Rupert Fenton, a country policeman, the Carlton waiter, Inspector Scabbard of the Yard, Wolfgang Schmidt and Marovitch are all played by the same actor.
Sides will be posted closer to auditions.
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