Turning 40… Send Help.
After much internal debate (and several Redbulls), I’ve decided the best way to celebrate turning 40 is to make a complete joke out of it—because if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry… and then my back will lock up.
Honestly, it’s terrifying and exciting. No part of me feels 40—except my knees, back, patience, and general will to live, which all seem to think I’m pushing 72. Can I take a dirt nap yet? No? Cool, party it is.
To celebrate this cursed milestone, I want to honor all the past versions of myself that have come together to create the beautiful chaos goblin you know and tolerate today.
So here’s the theme: Dress up as me.
• Dress as a version of me you remember
• Dress as something that reminds you of me
• Represent the season we met
• Recreate a core memory, trauma, or outfit (same thing)
• Or just show up as a can of Redbull—interpretation is free-range
Need inspiration? I came up with a list of “versions” of myself in my Notes app while bouncing between running a business, serving tables, and having my entire mouth reconstructed. So… yeah, the vibes are strong.
This is a public event — everyone is welcome… except that one girl and that one ex. You know who you are. If you’re wondering if it’s you—it probably is.
Some early costume rumors:
• My maid of honor might come in her actual wedding dress
• Someone is showing up as a pastor
• I’m probably coming as my mugshot
Be silly. Be serious. Be unhinged. The possibilities are endless—just like my personalities.
Message me for clarification, costume ideas, emotional support, or to tell me I’m a narcissist. I accept all forms of feedback except constructive.
See you there (until I Irish goodbye halfway through)!
xo,
The 39-year-old Brittany
(who still thinks she’s 26, until she stands up too fast)
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