Mock Turtle Fest 2025!!!

STRANGE PEOPLE OF EARTH,

LET IT BE KNOWN, BY HOLEY WRIT & SWEATY DECREE, THAT SATURDAY OCTOBER 4TH 2025 IS OUR 5TH ANNUAL MOCK TURTLE FEST.

YOUR ATTENDANCE IS REQUIRED BY LAW.

EXPECT MANY A SAUSAGE AND PRETZEL A-PLENTY.

EXPECT STRANGE COMPETITIONS OF STRENGTH AND CUNNING (WE HAVE ELIMINATED THE GAMES OF WIT DUE TO CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES).

EXPECT STEINS OF AMERICA'S GREATEST FAKE MARZEN BEER MADE FROM A RECIPE DESIGNED AND DEVELOPED BY THE UNITED STATE'S FIRST AMBASSADOR TO CARCOSA, JOHN MAREK, ESQ.

EXPECT, IN TRIUMPHANT RETURN, THE FREAKING RON SMOLLEN ORCHESTRA, PLAYING ALL OF YOUR FAVORITE OOMPA OOMPA SONGS. SING-A-LONGS ARE NOW ENFORCED BY LAW.

THIS IS A HIGH ROLLING DAY OF RESPECT AND HONOR TO FASION'S FINEST BOUNTY: THE MOCK-TURTLENECK. WEAR ONE. OR WEAR SOME LIEDERHOSEN (SP?) OR WEAR ONE OF THOSE BLUE SKIRTS THAT ARE SO ADORABLE. WE WILL BE GRANTING PRAISE UPON THE WORTHY AND RETRIBUTION UPON THE HUMORLESS AND LAME.

JOIN US OR SURRENDER LATER. YOUR FUTURE IS IN OUR HANDS.

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