This play is a fast-paced farce requiring multiple characters and quick costume changes.
Prior preparation is suggested and sides will be provided for review. Please email
b2Frc3RyZWV0cGxheWhvdXNlIHwgZ21haWwgISBjb20= to request sides.
Actor 1
• Allie-30s adoptive mother, rocket scientist for NASA, Jewish
• Lizzie-early 20s birth mother
Actor 2
• Kevin – late 20s adoptive father, school teacher, Catholic
• Leonard – 24 birth father, Domino’s pizza driver
Actor 3
• Kaitlyn – 30s former beauty queen
• Brianna – 40s a severe but strangely appealing woman in black
• Angela – 37 married to rich, Allie’s sister, brain surgeon
• Nurse 2 – non-speaking role
Actor 4
• Dennis – 36 investment banker, Kevin’s brother
• Jerry – 45 Dr. Tim’s husband
• Rich – 38 Angela’s husband
Actor 5
• Tawny – 51 Kaitlyn’s mother, former beauty queen. Face frozen from too much Botox
• Deb from Upstairs – 70 Charlotte’s neighbor
• Linda – 58 moneyed southerner from Atlanta, Oscar’s wife, Allie’s mother, Jewish
Actor 6
• Paul – 58 NY politician, Dennis and Kevin’s father, married to Kaitlyn. Charlotte’s ex-husband
• Dr. Tim – 53 Charlotte’s vet, married to Jerry
• Mr Yarmowich – 88 very dapper homosexual, friend of Bubbie
Actor 7
• Noreen – 60 nun, sister of Paul
• Charlotte – 56 free spirit. Dennis and Kevin’s mother, Paul’s ex-wife, friend of Angela, Jerry, Dr. Tim, Ivan
• Bubbie – 84 Jewish, Oscar’s mother, Allie’s grandmother
Actor 8
• Milford – 80 Paul’s father, Kevin’s grandfather
• Ivan – 62 shifty eyed Bulgarian, Charlotte’s dry cleaner
• Oscar – 60 moneyed southerner from Atlanta, Linda’s husband. Allie’s father, Jewish
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