Q-MoB Queer Men’s Self-Care Practice & Support Group (Great Barrington, MA)

Q-MoB Queer Men’s Self-Care Practice & Support Group (Great Barrington, MA)

1st & 3rd Sundays,
2:30-4:30pm

Commonwealth Collaborative Club House
401A Stockbridge Rd
Great Barrington, MA 01230

DIRECTIONS: go to the back corner of the building in between 2 restaurants & enter the door labelled "Club House"

WHY SELF-CARE IS IMPORTANT NOW:  Many queer men struggle with self-care, especially in these times of rapid political, economic, demographic, technologic, & climate changes & challenges that may overwhelm some of us in different ways. Strong Self-Care practices like (not an exhaustive list):

• eating well,
• moving regularly in ways that sustain our bodies,
• practicing forms of mindfulness and/or spiritual connection that build our capacity to cope with stress, the ability to pause & then act rather than just react to negative stimuli, & make contact with more creative, life-affirming parts of our self and in our life
• taking time to relax & play,
• having a good sleep hygiene,
• investing in human connections that can support us in difficult times, and in  addressing bad habits that can sabotage our self care. 

While peer support is important for many of us in making progress in self-care, many others do well with an action-oriented practice, so this group will do both.  This peer support group helps men learn new self-care strategies by trying them in the group, and by supporting one another in adopting self-care strategies that will work for each of us & our unique strengths, goals, backgrounds, and challenges.

HOW IT WORKS:  Twice a month we gather as a peer practice & support group to share about 1) what is working in our self-care, 2) What self-care practices are challenging us & that we want to work on with the group, 3) Our experience & victories in self-care practices that other group members are struggling with, 4) and once a month to try practicing a new Self-Care strategy (see examples below).  This group avoids giving advice, but instead each person that has relevant experience that might relate to another group member’s self-care challenge will share their experience and any victories, knowing this may or may not actually be relevant to the other man’s struggle.

WHAT TO BRING: 

• Comfortable clothing you can move freely in
• Your calendar & a notepad & pen to take notes
• Donation of $10-$20 (paid or in cash or check made out to Q-MoB, Inc, which is a 501(c)3 Non-Profit Mass Charitable Organization) to support both rent for the Commonwealth Collaborative space and to support Q-MoB’s ongoing work to empower rural queer men to broaden & deepen their connections with their queer neighbors in more than 20 social, recreation/wellness, & arts/culture activities every month in the 8 counties in 4 states that make up the Greater Berkshire Region. Alternately you can participate in these other more convenient ways:

1. by donating $25/mo, $35/mo, $50/mo, $75/mo, $100/mo or more
2. Request a Low-Income Scholarship or Work-Study when you register
3. Attend for FREE if this is your very 1st time at any Q-MoB activity

DRAFT 1ST MEETING SCHEDULE:

2:30-2:40 Arriving

2:40-2:50 Brief Chair Yoga to Arrive in our bodies & the space

2:50-3:00 Light Candle Read Ground Rules & Describe Roadmap of Today’s Gathering

3:00-3:25 Self-Care Practice Session

3:25-3:30 Bio Break (Bathroom, Get tea/snack)

3:30-3:50 Each Person share you Self-Care Strengths, Challenges, & Intention for the Next 2 weeks (write people’s challenges & intentions on the board)

3:50-4:10 Popcorn Sharing about Your Experience or Victory related to someone else’s challenge or intention

4:10-4:20 Each person share their concrete next step for the next 2 weeks & whether you want any support

4:20-4:25 Popcorn Sharing about what worked in this meeting & what we might do better next time

4:25-4:30 Retore Room to State it was in when we arrived (including kitchen)

EDUCATION/ACTION:  Once a month, as part of our group learning mission, we also invite a teacher or speaker to come in to present for 20-30 minutes on a self-care practice or topic or to lead us in an actual self-care practice (like yoga, QiGong, Meditation, Practical Cooking, How to improve sleep, High Intensity Interval Training, or whatever topics/practices the group is interested in learning and practicing together).

NEWCOMERS WELCOME BUT NEED COMMITMENT AFTER 2ND MEETING:  This group welcomes newcomers, but expects them to come once or twice and then make at least a 3 month commitment to attend the group regularly.

GROUP CO-FACILITATORS: The group has two co-facilitators who rotate every 6 months and help the group remember its schedule & need to divide up sharing time equitably, group ground rules, and facilitates scheduling a self-care instructor once a month.  The founding group co-facilitators are:

• Gary Osborne,  MFA, MAT, is a long-time licensed therapist and facilitator of lots of groups that explore self-care, addiction, mental health, and recovery
• Allan Forman, has decades of experience with recovery, meditation, & self-care

• Bart Church, Wilderness First Responder, Certified Yoga Instructor, Zen Shiatsu Practitioner, and long-time facilitator of men’s self-care & wellness groups

DRAFT GROUND RULES, which the group can & will evolve as they get experience with what works and what might work better:

1. CONFIDENTIALITY:  We agree to maintain confidentiality of what others say in group, and not repeat anything they said in a way that could identify them
2. VULNERABILITY:  We agree to share both our strengths, struggles, and specifically what we want to work on in between meetings as a way of practicing being strong & vulnerable.
3. SHARE ONLY OUR EXPERIENCE & VICTORIES & NOT GIVE ADVICE:  To create trust among peers, we agree to only share our own victories, struggles, & what we want to work on, and not to give anyone advice.  If we want to share our experience & victories with a group member outside of group time, we will ask that member for permission, continuing to remember we avoid giving advice.
4. REGULAR ATTENDANCE:  After our 1st or 2nd time, we make a commitment to show up for group regularly for at least 3 months, & to let the co-facilitators know if we have an emergency and can’t attend. We have faith that our input is important and helps the group learn better, so we show up as best we can to share our experience, victories, struggles, & intentions.
5. GROUP SUSTAINABILITY DEPENDS ON CONTRIBUTING SOME TIME & MONEY: To help the group pay its rent and for Q-MoB to be able to promote & support this group with grant & other social media & outreach support, each of us agrees to give what we can at each meeting, which can be a sliding scale of $1-$20 per meeting or becoming a Q-MoB Monthly Donor ($25/mo, $35/mo, or more).  We also understand that the group depends on volunteers to help with co-facilitating the group, space setup & cleanup, helping to promote the group by dropping off flyers at places each of goes where queer men might see that flyer, reaching out to newcomers after their 1st meeting, taking photos for social media & grant funding.  Q-MoB has a grant from Berkshire Taconic Community Foundation South Berkshire Fund that pays scholarships for men who may find it difficult to donate money.  The continuation of this group depends on all members donating some time & money at some point during the month.
6. NO POLITICAL DEBATES OR ACTIVISM:  This group is focused on each member's self-care journey, strengths, challenges, & priorities, and we are not going to get distracted by discussions of politics or taking political action as a group.

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