This holiday, Beauty Starlet Anita Buffem glides into Cazenovia’s Catherine Cummings Theater like the ghost of Christmas Pretty, here to melt hearts, thin ice, and any remaining goodwill toward your favorite childhood movies. Because in Anita’s Holiday Spectacular…On Ice! she’s not just sleighing the show—she’s sleighing the entire Christmas canon.
Move over Rudolph, sweetie. Anita’s nose is brighter, her legs are longer, and unlike you, she doesn’t wait for Santa to validate her worth before feeling fabulous. Imagine relying on a man with a cookie addiction to determine your destiny? Couldn’t be Anita.
Frosty the Snowman? Please. He melts faster than the townspeople’s tolerance when Anita goes live on social media. Meanwhile, SHE’S the real “jolly, happy soul” with a corncob pipe, but hers is filled with diamonds and Franzia.
The Grinch? Baby, Anita didn’t need to steal Christmas, Cazenovia practically gift-wrapped the drama for her. And unlike that goofy green mofo, when her heart grows three sizes, it’s because she’s wearing her favorite diamon-ique statement necklace and has good lighting.
Kevin from Home Alone? Adorable. But try surviving Cazenovia Facebook threads without a therapist present. THAT’S the real survival story. And Anita could’ve handled those burglars like she handles anonymous social media comments filled with 1940’s inspired tropes by letting them stay promoting her name.
The entire cast of A Christmas Story? Too fragile. Anita’s show is PG-13, but it WILL absolutely cause a few adults to “shoot their eye out” from crying, laughing, or clutching their pearls too aggressively.
And don’t even get her started on It’s a Wonderful Life. George Bailey spent two hours whining about his problems when Anita has been dealing with winter roads, the lack of designer boutiques, and self-righteous hypocrisy all while “mothering” those who don’t know eyeliner from a dried out sharpie. Call her when George is ready for a REAL crisis.
But don’t worry, she roasts with love, because Anita is nothing if not Blessed. Beautiful. & Just Blasphemous Enough to Make Baby Jesus Peek Through His Fingers.
So prepare yourself. This holiday season the stage is getting slapped with sparkle, and the only thing on thin ice… is everyone BUT Anita.
Also check out other Arts events in Cazenovia, Entertainment events in Cazenovia.
