If you’ve visited the glorious Republic of Slowjamastan and left muttering, “Why is The Sultan never actually here?” — fret no more! This once-in-a-millennium event is your chance to behold His Excellency in the wild, like spotting a rare desert marmot… wearing aviators.
Join The Sultan, Chief, and the legendary Rescue Rick as they bravely attempt to serve coffee. (Note: Coffee is free, cups are not. Bring your own mug, bucket, helmet, or cupped hands.)
We’ll also be unveiling our Preferred Parking spaces and breaking ground on our biggest undertaking ever—a project so monumental that even we aren’t entirely sure what it is yet.
Don’t forget your Slowjamastan passport for an official stamp that definitely increases your property's value by at least 0.000001 Dubles.
Bring your camera for awkward selfies you’ll treasure forever.
And bring your wife for a totally fictional chance of being recruited into The Sultan’s Harem™. (Relax, we don’t have the budget for a harem. Or beds.)
Please temper your expectations. There will be no mariachis, no magicians, no fireworks, and absolutely no promises of competency. Just The Sultan and his loyal comrades, ready to shake your hand, take your picture, and maybe convince you that a Slowjamastan timeshare is the investment opportunity you didn’t know you never wanted.
See you there, citizen! ✨
