December 12th • 6PM — mark it, circle it, tattoo it, whatever.
FREE FESTIVUS DINNER
Yes, we are willingly giving away meatloaf.
Yes, we are aware of the consequences.
$5 FESTIVUS DRAFTS
Because nothing pairs with emotional turbulence like cheap beer.
AIRING OF GRIEVANCES
Have a complaint? A petty resentment? A 10-year-old vendetta?
SLAP IT ON THE POLE.
One lucky hater wins a prize that is either amazing or mildly cursed. We’re not sure anymore.
FEATS OF STRENGTH
Prove yourself.
Or don’t.
Either way, people will judge you.
MOST FESTIVUS COSTUME CONTEST
Dress in the MOST aggressively unfestive outfit you can imagine.
Think: beige socks energy.
The winner earns eternal glory and possibly confusion.
Come for the chaos. Stay for the meatloaf. Leave with new enemies.
It’s Festivus. Anything can happen.
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